Sunday, September 11, 2016

My love story - part 2

Dad’s lesson

It is needed to have a couple of sections devoted to my dad. Dad had a profound effect on me and how I not only treat my wife but women in general.  I have also seen how important the man is for the raising of children in the house hold. Don’t get me wrong, personally I feel that in order for a kid to really be steady that there needs to be both a mom and a dad in the household. Ma always said if you want to know how a guy would really treat their girl, look at how he treats his mom. I can write a whole book on the man that is my father. He is truly a man that is a model for all men. I am just touching on how he taught me to be a husband but he has taught me so much more.

The first thing I can think of with dad was a day in which he and ma were in a fight. You remember that they are pretty loud and heated. This one was and the yelling was in full stride. Grandpa was there working away with his usual indifference. As a side note, grandpa (dad’s dad) did odd jobs around the house all the time when I was growing up. He would just carry on as if there was nothing going on when ma and dad were arguing. To him, it was their thing and he had no business getting into it. His just did what he was there to work on. I bet it was a philosophy that a lot of your parents had, huh?

Anyway, dad and ma were getting heated when dad called ma a bad name. I really don’t remember what it was and probably didn’t even know it was bad or a cuss word anyway since I was so young. What I did know was what grandpa did. He was not a very loud person but he sure carried a big stick. He stopped what he was doing, looked up at dad from his kneeling position, and said, “Boy,” in a very even steady tone.

In that instant, both ma and dad were silenced with the shock that grandpa had broken into their arguement. Dad responded quietly with his head hanging, “Yeah pa?”

“You will not call your wife names.”

“Yes, pa.”

He gave a short glance at ma with a red face of shame. Then he left the house and ma left the room. Since that day, they still argued but I never heard him call ma another bad name or even cuss at her again. That was quite a strong lesson for me. In my mind it seems like it was recorded in hi-def. I realized then without knowing it that you never ever said anything you didn’t mean to the one you loved. I would not have been able to tell you that day that is what I learned but I have stuck to this since that day.

Honestly, I have never said any word to my wife or even about my wife that I did not mean. I don’t say anything to anyone that I don’t mean. Of course I have been told that I can sometime be too straight forward because of it. I feel that verbally attacking a person out of anger is really an out of bounds thing to do . . . just like grandpa did. I also think that if dad did not react to the browbeating  grandpa gave him, that I would not have gotten the message so clear. As an adult, I have no idea why I would do such a thing. I know though that when a person has their feelings hurt so bad they will lash out to hurt the other’s feelings in retaliation. It seems like a perfectly understandable reaction to a lot of people. It does not to me. I would rather say that my feelings were hurt but I love you anyway. I bet that would get a reaction.

Grandpa may not have known it but there were two boys that day that got a lesson loud and clear.

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