How I feel about inspiring kids to be teachers.

 Boy is this a mixed bag.

You know, its funny. I didn't start college knowing I was going to be a Teacher. I knew I wanted to be a scientist but I didn't know what I wanted to be a scientist in. I thought about being a ranger or a researcher or material specialist or work for a company like Dow or UpJohn. 

Then I accepted a job to tutor college kids in classes I was good at..... Specifically chemistry. And that was it.... I had the teaching bug. Boy did I not know what I was getting into!

 There is always two sides to a story and I want to make sure you truly understand both.

It makes me wonder if they know how hard the job is.

Some things I didn't realize. I didn't realized how little I was prepared. I mean I knew the stuff. You know? I knew the science and I knew the content. What I didn't know was how to put it in a learnable way. I didn't know how to manage kids. I didn't know how to fill out the forms or plan for retirement or manage my time or keep markers from drying out too fast or organize grade books or the different ways to calculate grades or .... Or.   Or...... 

I didn't know that the salary would be so low to begin with and how slow it would be to increase. I didn't know how much of my life would be spent grading papers and planning lessons and replanning lessons and emailing parents and attending extra curricular and....and ...... And......

Then I wonder if they knew how awesome and rewarding the job is.

I didn't know how fun teaching was. It was so fun to just teach science and show kids how everything worked in the world around them. Its fun to just let go of inhibitions and just show how excited I am about everything science. Its exciting to see the kids smile and laugh and enjoy how much I get worked up. It so much fun to do the experiments with the kids or watch them enjoy performing the labs. 

With all that, I didn't know how much teaching would affect me personally and emotionally. I tell my students that once they are my kids they are always my kids and I mean it. I have laughed and cried and mourned and learned right along side of them. I've been proud and surprised and sad and disappointed with them. 

I remember many times laughing so hard and enjoying the moment so much that I forgot what I was teaching.

I remember sitting with a girl who had just told me her mom was diagnosed with cancer and would probably die. I didn't know what to say but I sat and just shared the space with her willing comfort into her.

I have watch with awe a kid build and test a machine for competitions and practically floated with them up to the stage to get their winning medal. 

I have hugged a kid and was told that my hug was the only hug they get during the day. 

I have sat in front of a class with tears in my eyes telling them that I was so happy to see them and meaning it with every atom in my body because a student I had that they didn't know died the day before. 

I have talked to parents in a gas station who tell me they can't get their kids to stop talking about my class because they liked it so much.

I have had a student that had a quarter of their brain removed with no verbal ability give me a gift for Christmas because they chose only me out of all their teachers to give a gift to. 

I have had a kid say that because of me and talking to them while looking into their eyes like I was looking into their soul.....  decided not to commit suicide the next day. 

I have watched my kids get their diploma. 

I have kids give me trinkets and small gifts because that is one of the only ways they know how to show me how much I meant to them as a teacher. And I keep a lot of them. These trinkets...... These gifts from kids make hard days easier.

I have had the honor of becoming not only a mentor but a friend of several of my kids for any years after they leave my class. It makes me feel like I really did make a difference in their lives.

And the list goes on and on and on and on...... 20 years worth of those kind of memories.

So. . . . 

So..... When a kid says that I inspired them to become a teacher, I wonder if they know. I wonder if they know how hard the job is. I also wonder if they know how awesome the job is. Then I smile and wish them luck because there is no job like it and they are in for a treat if they hit the job like a Schlipp!

Becoming a Christian

 I was asked when I became a Christian and that is a story that cannot just be put into a couple of words. By now most people understand I am not the most normal person and that I seem to look at the things around me and my world in a little different way. 

The short answer to the question is that I have always been a Christian. The long answer though, now that will take a bit. In a nutshell, I became a Christian by having Faith and it started when I was very little. 

First, I grew up in a very Christian atmosphere with my mom and dad going to church every Sunday. We went to a little bitty church in the little town only big enough to have a post office, a pharmacy, and a small butcher/grocery store. We are United Church of Christ which I found out is not Church of Christ.... there is a difference! My church seems as if it is an amalgamation of several churches with the biggest influence (I guess) being Baptist. Does that matter though? For some it does. Doesn't it?

Well anyway. You know how people tell you that when you come to Jesus that you know and that it is an experience unlike any you have ever had? You know how they say the spirit washes over you and your life changes and the earth shakes and the skies open and everything looks different? 

Well, that didn't happen to me. 

I guess the best way to describe how I became a Christian is through faith. You see, growing up in a Christian family, you just follow what your parents do or your grandparents but as you grow older and rebellion sets in, you start to question everything. I think this where all those revelations come in. People who have been Christians and believe eventually have a period of indecision and truly wonder if what they have been practicing their whole lives is actually true or not. And when their mind finally locks into the idea and they truly set that belief in their minds, soul, and hearts. . . . that's when they become a believer. That is the moment and they can remember . . . that moment when their minds and soul sheds their random indescision and doubt . . .  for the rest of their lives. After observing people become Christians, I believe a lot if not most are this way. 

I grew into Christianity through faith. I never really had that Epiphany moment. You know? I can't pinpoint the moment that I became a Christian like others can. And you know people will question whether or not I truly have given my heart to Jesus and am a Christian but In my mind, and in my heart, I always have been. I have always seen my parents and grandparents believe that there is something more that influences and guides us. When I was little, I trusted my parents implicitly. I believed what they believed because I knew how much they cared for me and would do anything for me. When I was a child I thought of my parents as the same as Jesus and God because that is what they were to me. What I was hearing in church was what they were to me at that time. You see? But was I a Christian at that time? I believe so. It was just as a child, I was thinking concrete. I was thinking that God was a parent and that is why I had my parents. 

Faith though. It is what I guided my whole life. It fueled my actions. The idea that things will work out if I believe they will work out. Some of you will hear me say I will worry about it when I have to. Well, that is where faith in our Lord and God comes from. It seems that I always test God. I went through life saying if this didn't work out or that didn't work out that there could never be a higher purpose or a higher meaning. But, it always did work out one way or another. Sometimes it took time. Sometimes it was right away. Sometimes it didn't happen and that turned out to be good int he end. Sometimes it took effort. Sometimes it took making that one choice that set everything in place. Sometimes it took looking at it from a different angle or perspective. In the end, though, everything works out. It always did and I feel always will.

Look, here are just a few things that I have put the Lord to test. When I was about 16, my grandpa fell ill and I mean I thought he was going to die. Actually, I truly believed he would die. I had it set in my mind. But I told God I was not ready for him to leave just yet and then I started to have faith that it would work out. Of course, it was not an instant miracle. Faith is not stagnat, you know? You have to be doing stuff too. Faith is also looking for those opportunities that are put in our path to take advantage of. I spent my whole spring break nursing him back to health. I believed he was going to die but then I was really having faith that he wouldn't. Having faith won.

I thought I was going to be alone my whole life. I was not exactly the most popular person in my school. I was weird and awkward and I was bullied up into junior year. It was hard and there were days that were literal hell. I had trouble with dating and even getting girls to show interest in me. I knew that I had to have that comfort and companionship in order for me to truly be happy in life. But I just was not finding it. It was hard and years went by with lots of weird moments and dropped dates and such. In the back of my mind though there was a spark of faith that I would find one. And I did. It was one of those "I was not looking when it happened" moments. 

Then there was the day I was told that I would be fired from my job when I was married with a two-year-old and the job market was flooded with thousands of people that looked just like me on paper. 

Then there was the time when she had an emergency caesarian and our boy stayed in NICU for four days.

Then there was the time when we were on the edge of losing everything and had to humble ourselves into bankruptcy. 

And the list goes on. And it is hard to have faith in those moments. But I believe it was faith that helped me get through them. I had faith of a higher being and propose - in Jesus and God to put people and opportunities in my path to get me through. All I had to do was keep my eyes open and see the choices pass by me. You see, like I have stated before, having faith is not stagnant. Having faith is knowing you will have the people and the opportunities to step onto a better path and that Jesus and God are putting them there for you to see. You just have to keep your eyes open and look for them. 

I think a heavy part of this is to express gratitude all the time. You know it says in the Bible that people who become believers are joyous and express their happiness for all to witness. They are giving because of this. I truly believe this is a part of knowing you are a Christian. You are more likely to give and be joyous. 

I feel good all the time. I feel like I am on a high and that everything is a little on the unreal side. I like the way I feel. I never feel the need to indulge in drugs or alcohol or smoking or prescription drugs because I don't want to change the way I feel. I have had times where that has happened and I don't like it at all. I think that is part of being Christian is to feel so good all the time. Not in body but in mind. I could be hurting in my body pretty bad and sometimes it has overtaken my mind but usually, in my mind, I am feeling pretty good. I think that is God and Jesus in me. And that is why I am in a good mood all the time even when my body is not feeling that great. 

That is why I give people stuff. One reason is that it is a little bit of me and it is like I am spreading parts of myself all over. And those parts of me that I am giving away is the happiness and joy that I feel all the time. I just want to spread it around because I want people to feel like I feel. I don't want to keep it to myself or keep it from another person to experience. In my mind, I can't believe a person would not want to feel this way! How can you not! Why can you not! Here! Let me Help! Let me show you!

I am sure a lot of you can look back and understand perfectly what I mean. 

So yeah, I never really had that Epiphany moment other Christians can tell stories of. It was all about testing God and Jesus through my life and seeing that they really do come through if you want to keep your eyes open and have faith that they will put people in your path and opportunities for you to choose. If you are struggling because you have not had that epiphany that others have had then maybe you need to look at your faith with a new perspective and see that maybe God has been with you the whole time. Maybe that self-reliance and that attitude that you don't need God is really what I have been describing above this whole time. 

Looking back at some of my work.