Abortion - Advocating for fathers

I wondered how pro-choice women would respond to a statement advocating for father rights. And I bet you can guess how that went!

Have you seen the meme going around that has like fifty lines that repeat the phrase, "Men shouldn't be making laws about women's bodies?" If you haven't then you should look for them and then just take a gander at the comments. Very interesting and informative. 

So, I made this comment: I am just putting it out there that a man does have a right if it has to do with his own baby. The courts favor mothers over fathers and that is not right. 

And here are some of the responses I got for this statement:

 Not if he isn't the one carrying the child.

 No, he does not - not legally, ethically, morally or under the breadth of humanitarianism. He does not have the right to force childbirth. You do not have the right to force me to endure childbirth. There is your answer. 

Than said man should have the discussion with the woman ahead of time about whether she wants children or not. 

First, it is unreasonable to throw in a man's face that they are unable to have children from their own bodies. We are fully aware that we do not have a uterus or ovaries. Seriously. To tell me that I have no right to decide if MY baby lives or dies depends on whether or not I have a uterus or not is insensitive and ignorant. Have you talked to a woman that has one miscarriage after another? Have you talked to a woman that is sterile or has had to have a hysterectomy? Have you talked to a woman that has had a still born? These are poor and inadequate examples but hey, how can a woman even come close to understanding what it would be like for a man to never ever be able to have a child without a woman when they themselves will never be in that kind of denial? 

And I still can't even fathom what it would be like for those women because I am a man and have no frame of reference. How can I even come close to understanding? I cannot. I am a man, not a woman. All I know is that it is arrogant, patronizing, condescending, and ignorant to tell a man that he has no right to decide if his OWN child lives or dies because he is not the one pregnant and the mother can abort HIS child against his wishes. No discussion. No compromise. No empathy or compassion. And it is completely legal. How degrading and minimizing to a man is that? Can you imagine what that would do to us and our mental health? No. No you can’t. Because you will never be the one that can't carry the baby. The mother will always be able to choose to birth her child. She will never be forced to abort her baby if she wants it. Never. I am positive that any man who desperately wants to be a father would gladly carry a baby but God and nature dealt us a different set of cards.

Secondly, I know it is wrong to force a person to do something to their body medically that they elect not to. It is illegal and unethical. In this case though....... In this case . . . it is still wrong. On the other hand, the sole choice should not fall to the mother if the father wants the baby. His baby..... Their baby. The father should have some say and input. Having a baby is a unique situation where a man will never be able to have the baby themselves. They are completely helpless in all ways to the health of their own child and dependent on the mother to carry their baby to a healthy birth. Morally and ethically it is wrong for someone to force a woman to go all the way to childbirth. But so too is it morally and ethically wrong to abort a man's baby if he wants to keep them without so much as a sit-down and talk. He will have to live with the fact that the woman he loved enough to have sex with has just chosen to abort his...... their ...... baby. Psychologically this can affect a man’s mental health for the rest of his life.

It doesn’t matter though. This is a woman against man argument. As I was making my case, all women heard when I made that comment was that I just wanted to control women and exert toxic male dominance over them because I was some kind misogynist. Even though I kept reinforcing that I was talking about only the FATHER'S baby and the right for the father to keep their OWN baby and that it was the only way a man would be able to be a father. All of that was ignored in favor of some hyper-focused belief that I just wanted to control women. Because, hey, a man wanting to keep his own baby is about controlling a woman..... Right? Not one woman acknowledged that I actually agreed with them that a man has no right to decide what to do with a baby that was not theirs. Not once was I acknowledged that I strongly was against making abortions illegal. Not once was I acknowledged that I was only focused on a father of their own child. Isn't that interesting?

Of course, then I am told that if a man wants to be a father then they should be more careful and talk with the girl about children before they have sex. You know, I am all for that. Hell, I will scream it from rooftops! But how many mothers right now are single parents because they believed the man they got pregnant by would have stayed to actually be the father of their child? Well, I am talking about the opposite of this. The difference is that if father skips out and the mother still wants to be a mother, what's to stop her? Nothing. But, if the mother does not want to be a mother when the man wants to be a father, she can have an abortion because what's to stop her? Nothing. You see? The mother can be a mother to the baby against the father's will and the father can ONLY be a father to the baby if the mother will let him. That's it. Way to stick it to the man for all their male privilege! Take away his right to be a father! 

Why am I even making this point anyway? If a man wants to keep his baby he will always be shouted down as a woman hater and misogynist or just hating for women to have a choice or taking away body autonomy or.... Or ...... Or..... 

But, in reality I am not pro-life. But, I am not pro-choice either. 

I am pro parent. I think it is wrong morally and ethically to deny a person to be a parent if they desire to. If you are a woman.... Congrats. No one can make you have an abortion. If you are a man though...... Congrats..... The life of your child is in the hands of the woman carrying your child. I hope you choose wisely. AND THANK GOD! Most men who want to be fathers DO choose wisely. I think they do because they understand on a guttural level what I am saying.  But..... There is always that chance......

You really want to know what I think?

Most of all I am pro-proactive. I am pro-safe sex. You see, if we are proactive with safe sex on the front end, there will be no need for needless abortions. (Did you catch the wording there?) It is not a secret how to keep babies from being conceived. You just have to keep the sperm from getting to the egg or keep the egg from implanting in the uterus. You know what is cool about that? You don't even have to stop having sex to be able to accomplish it and the cost is relatively cheap! So, there is that. 

Anyway.... I wonder how many pro-choice man haters have gotten all the way to the end here and still think I want all women to have their babies no matter what. Maybe I should make a meme that says..... Read that again........

I hate those memes.

Semantics - the new argument for the sexes

 Ok, when the words Biology and Facts are used in the discussion of what makes a man a man and a woman a woman, it basically comes down to semantics and how people are defining the words based on their idea of the meaning. 

If you want to talk biology, then let's talk biology. Because in the study of biology..... The words male and female are clearly defined.

First - the purpose of sex (noun) in all living things is basically to reproduce. It is a straight up survival of the species strategy. And man, are their lots of ways to reproduce! There are several ways that living things reproduce and they are basically separated into two categories - Asexual and sexual. In this case asexual is reproduction that is NOT the combination to two cells to create a new individual. Sexual reproduction REQUIRES TWO partial cells (with half the genetic information each) to combine in order to have a new individual. 

So, I will obviously stick to sexual reproduction since this is the way in which human beings reproduce. 

Going back to the idea of male vs. female. If you are a biologist, a male and female is pretty straight forward - a male has a Y chromosome, and a female does not have a Y chromosome. A male has a sex cell that delivers genetic material (commonly called a sperm) to a female sex cell (commonly called an egg or ovum) so that the genetic material of both can combine and develop into a new individual. 

Second- nature definitely knows the difference between the sexes. It is all about reproduction. A deer doesn't care one bit if another deer thinks it is a male or female (if they were to have that kind of higher order thinking ability). All they care about is if they can make more copies of deer. You see? Nature does not argue if an individual thinks they are male or female. Because seriously - why does that matter in the grand scheme of survival?

Third - Humans are unlike any other animal in the world. Animals live in the environment they are given and they basically have evolved to basically do one thing - live long enough to make more copies of themselves to live long enough to make copies to live long enough to make copies . . . . . ect. 

Humans have evolved to change their environment to be able to take away the stress of survival and therefore have more time to ponder why they have the sex organs they have. (I think I am being a bit sarcastic here but the basic idea is true.)

We are so numerous and our brains have grown so large and we have developed this ability to think about thinking. We have taken the threats of death due to things like finding food and predators and climate ect. away so that we can focus on thinking about the meaning of things that in the natural world would not have time to think about or. . . not really even important enough to consider for survival.

So that brings us to what is a girl and what is a boy. Well, a male has a Y chromosome and a female does not. A male produces sperm and the sperm does not grow into the new individual. A female does not have a Y chromosome and produces an egg (ovum) that, when combined with the genetic material of the sperm, grows into the new individual. 

Sex (noun) is very straight forward in biology. There are variations, yes, (sometimes called mutations) but these are rare and in a lot of cases prevents the individual from reproducing which is the purpose of sex (noun) in animals. 

When people argue that men can be women and woman can be men in a human society. . . . well that is semantics based on how you interpreted that those words. .  . So now we have the argument of the word "gender" that has been born. I mean if you want to boil down what gender means in our new society, it basically means that no matter your genetic chromosomal make up - you are what ever sex (noun) you think you are.  I even found it interesting that in a picture I saw the other day, a recent genetics text book for college saw it important enough to actually make mention of this difference between sex and gender.  

Why is it important? Well because we have laws and rules and constructs of behavior that is unlike any other system of living things on the earth. With every living thing on the earth, interactions between individuals are basically structured to increase the chance of survival to create more individuals. This stress of survival creates predator and prey and foraging interactions. It creates herding and dominance structures. It creates the mating and caring for young interactions. And humans don't have to create those interactions because there is no threat of the human species to go extinct and our higher reasoning abilities have pretty much extinguish the drive to do so. 

So, does it matter if a male (born with a Y chromosome) dresses like a woman or has surgery to change their anatomy to mimic a woman or acts like what they think a woman acts like really make a difference to human existence? Nope. But it makes a difference to things like marriage, having children, government assistance, taxes , how comfortable a person is that is not like that, and all those other things that no other living animal thinks about because they are too busy just surviving.  

If you ask me whether or not I think there is only two sexes, I will say yes. All animals are separated into two sexes - male and female. If you ask me whether or not I care if it is important that a male thinks (believes) they are female I will say nope. It make no difference to me. They can think (believe) what they want. They can change their body the way they want. They can pump themselves full of what ever chemicals they want. It does not matter to me. I was born a male and I am a man and have always said so because that is my definition of man. What they call themselves...... well that is not me.   

I bet if every animal that is not human were about to talk they would say - "These guys sure do think too much!"

Love story #18 - "I want you"

Guys can be deep and sappy too. Well, the right ones can be. I am horrible at expressing my feelings in spoken words but man can I write them out. Even then, when I read them over, I still think that I am nowhere close to how I actually feel. I mean, for this one, how can I truly express what I mean when I say, "I want you" to my wife? Of course, men all have the stigma of "only wanting one thing," but for men who truly want a forever girl, that is only a drop of an ocean's worth of what's true. That sentiment is only a manifestation of our whole and complete desire for our wives. So, here is a letter I left my wife in her notebook. I am not sure when she will find it but I hope the good Lord reveals it to her when she needs It the most so that she know hows much I need her in my life and that I want her to be my wife........ forever.