I found this on my phone and I don't remember even putting it in there. I must have been ranting in the car one day and I had it on voice to text. This looks like these were issues that we were struggling with at the beginning of my son's mental health problems.
So here it is.....
Our family is being torn apart so what can we do? Well.....We can't do this, whatever this is, anymore. It's putting to much stress on our family and is tearing us apart. It is so hard at home. He doesn't do anything to help our home. He can be verbally abusive and mean.
He blames us for a lot of our problems and pretty much all of his. He says that we are to blame for all his mental health problems and that we are not doing enough. He was pulled from school and chauffeured to therapy app and scheduled for Autism testing and admitted to hospitals for evaluation. He lives at home with no responsibilities and when asked to do simple chores he fights like a bear to not do them and then accused us of trying to make him our slave.
Isn't it right for us to just want a kid to be able to take care of themselves? Isn't it reasonable for us to expect that having a child that is not mentally retarded or developmentally challenge to learn to care for himself in the society and to move out to be on his own? I am guessing it will be hell to do and he will hate us for it but I can live with never talking to him again if I know he can take care of himself.
Our mental health is suffering. It feels like we are starting to debate who's mental health is more important and who will just have to suffer. I feel like it is us that is expected to decline while he hides behind his as a justification to not do what he needs to.
I am worried about my wife's mental health. She says that if we can't get him independent and out on his own that she will leave. If that happens, My mental health with suffer to the point where my physical health will decline and my life will be shortened. I WILL not be healthy without her
Sometimes I feel like he wants to find someone that will agree with him so that he can use it to get his way at the expense of the rest of his family. We have another boy too. Do you know that? What about him? What about his life and his needs? It seems we are working with Austen's issues to the expense of Ben's.
Right now he seems to only want to stay at home forever and not do anything but drain us of resources and mental/emotional energy without contributing anything. He says things like his mom is lazy and sits all the time and does nothing so why should he. He tells me that it is not right that I do everything and that it's not a healthy relationship if I do. I know I am talking in exaggeration but he has told me that he doesn't want to work and doesn't want to go to school and doesn't want to leave home and that with his issues he may never will.
He says he is not being heard and that his side is not being told but that is not true. It's just we have a side too.
Because you want to know where I am at right now? I have a son that is saying his mom is toxic by being licensed, self centered, lazy, impatient, and verbally abusive on one side and he hates me because I am supporting her more than him. Then my wife is saying we have a lazy, narcissistic, manipulative, son that just wants to mooch off us his entire life. And he hates it that I agree with her. I am in the middle trying to just keep my family from falling apart because I am scared to death of my wife leaving me because of the stress and my son not being independent or hurting himself, maybe even killing himself, because he thinks that is better than being an adult doing adult things. I am worried I am not giving my other son the time and effort that he needs to become an independent adult. And I am worried that we will suffer for the rest if our lives with this stress.
