Friday, March 9, 2018

Causing pain just by being alive

I was told one day by a student that just being alive causes others pain. I said that is an interesting statement, would you like to give me an essay about that? And you know what? She did. and here it is:


Do We Cause Each Other Pain by Being Alive?
                Have you ever pondered upon the idea that we hurt ourselves and the people around us by being alive? I’m sure we all do at some point in our lives. No matter how much we try not to hurt each other, someone always ends up hurt! Our words hurt each other and half the time we never notice it until it’s too late, we’re all very judgmental whether we like it or not, and we all cause ourselves pain by being self-conscious.
               I’m sure we’re all happy there were different ways created to communicate with each other. Of course, though, it can also be a curse. With only a few words, we can ruin a person’s day. Half the time we never realize what we’re doing, and we may end up saying something someone doesn’t like. I’m sure we’ve all done this at least once in our lives. Blah blah blah It’s 10:06 PM and I should be sleeping.
                Even if you don’t want to tell that person what you think, you probably run off to your friends and tell them all about what you think of them. You could even be judgmental in your head. You probably experience both things almost every day… unless you have no friends… like some people (ehem. . . you). I was honestly motivated to do this an hour ago, but I sort of just don’t really feel as motivated anymore. I’m probably going to be up until like 3 AM again. I have sleeping issues. Help.
               Not only are we hurting each other, but we’re hurting ourselves. In our heads, we probably bully ourselves like every day. Worst thing is, we all know our weakest spots and we can upset ourselves so easily. I’m going to keep getting off topic but its like 10:22, so… you know. I was like really serious about this but I have more work to finish for you tonight so I need to hurry up and finish this and stufffff lol.
                In conclusion, we all make ourselves and others around us sad. I’m not gonna do any of this right but I really don’t care. We’re all honestly a horrible race but at the same time we’re amazing but like why do we have to hurt each other and stuff, you know??? lol

       I couldn't help but to have a response to this. I couldn't let her have the last word on this without putting out there a little advice. So this is what I said:

What is it about living life that involves so much pain? Just so you know, the word pain is an interesting word as it is used by people. It could be physical as if being hit somewhere on your body. Or, it could also be emotional and psychological like when someone says that they have a broken heart. It is funny though, as far as your brain is concerned, one type is no different than the other. If you think I am lying . . . you can look it up.


   I was recently told that just being alive causes pain. The pain we cause is not just to others but also ourselves. Wow, that is a heavy thing to contemplate. Pain can be unintentional by what we say either flippantly or without empathy. We throw out just a couple of words with no thought at all that will cause devastation to another’s day. We can distribute pain by being too judgmental without looking at it from our own personal view. It is them . . . not us. We walk around on our high horse speaking about another we don’t like except to that very person themselves. Of course, when this gets around, it hurts and pains the one you are talking about.

   And then there is the pain we inflict upon ourselves. The self-doubt of ourselves can be debilitating. In our minds, our faults are magnified to encompass the entirety of our brains and emotions. It can be suffocating, really, if you think about it too much. Our view of how others view us is one-sided – our side – and without direct confirmation that our fears are unfounded, we are left glancing over our shoulders wondering . . .

   Wondering what are they thinking . . .

  Wondering what are they saying . . .

   There are even those who have so much inner pain, so much inner turmoil, that they will physically hurt themselves to see if it can be any worse than what they are feeling inside. 

And is it? 

I will never know.

   So is it true? Do we cause pain by just being alive? God, I hope not. I have to believe deep down that it is not true. Don’t let me misguide you. I have lived through much of the pain as described above. No one is safe from it. No one can hide. No one can be sheltered enough. But here I am, older now, and I look back and think – How did I rise above all that? What was it that made me plow through and come out to the other side where such things are now trivial? The short answer is, I have no flipping idea. The long answer is that I got to a point where I had to build a fork in the road of my life and then make the right turn.

  I had to make a conscious effort to change not only the way I treated other people and say different things but to also reinvent my mindset. I had to start looking for the good in people and life and myself. I had to train my brain to see silver linings and not to let little things keep me from enjoying life and enjoying the company of others. I had to look at each individual and really see them as an individual - To see them as a unique person. I had to accept that they are not like me and that is perfectly alright and possibly have the chance of making my life better.

   It was not easy. It took time and internal fortitude. It took an endeavor on the scale of ripping every individual fiber out of a tapestry and rearranging them into a new scene. A new outlook. A new picture of what life should look like and feel like. Was it hard? You bet. Did it take a long time? Absolutely. Was it worth it? Well, how can I answer so that you can understand?

 The question is – are you willing to try it yourself? Are you?

                 



    

No comments:

Post a Comment