Abortion is necessary. It really turns my guts inside out even to say it. I hate abortions and I hate that a human being would even consider it. But, it is necessary because we, the general social population, have created a culture where it is considered a last resort and acceptable.
People are hurting or being violent to those who either are getting abortions or performing abortions. Legislature and politicians that are either supporting abortion or trying to make it illegal. People will force girls to have their babies and condemn them if they don't or condemn them for even being pregnant. Even if a person stops an abortion, what then?
I mean, if you stop a girl from having an abortion- what then? Are you going to help this girl raise their child? Provide assistance? Are you going to council this girl to grow strong and confident in the face of the struggles of being a mom? Maybe a mom with no dad in the picture? What about the father? Are you going to take steps to keep him from randomly getting another girl pregnant? Can you be so short-sighted as to feel that it is always the girl's fault or the guy's? Will you make the boy stay with the girl that he does not love and will most likely not care for their own child? Well, in my mind all this stuff that is being done is no worse than putting out an oil fire by spraying water at the top of the flames. You have to get to the root of the problem.
And that root is Family.
You got it. I can bore you to death with statistics of how likely a girl will get pregnant based on things like poverty, a fatherless home, abuse, single-parent household, and on and on. What all of it boils down to is that there need to be better families and better family values. A household with two parents (a man and a woman - I truly believe. Data shows it is not a factor though) that are faithful to each other who provide love and guidance and nurturing is the only way to change the need for abortions. They need to be mentors and role models every day and in plain sight of their children. They need to train and teach their kids how important they are. This is for both boys and girls.
The boys need to be taught and shown how to respect women by valuing a girl's mind, emotions, and most importantly - their bodies. They need to see that there are boundaries even in a marriage where the wife is not property to be done with as the husband chooses. They need to see that if their mom tells their father to back off, the father respects that space their mom wants. This is done out of respect and love for their wives. It needs to be modeled and obvious. Boys need to be taught that they need to learn quickly that sex is not a trophy or conquest or bragging rights. They have to be taught that physical intimacy is a gift and treasure of those they love fully. They need to be taught that they need to take time to know who they are getting close to.
Girls need to be taught that their bodies are their most precious treasure they possess and that it is not to be just given out willy nilly. They need to know that sex is not a tool to control or hold a man. In the end, they will find that sex will never be enough to hold a man to them. It is sad but there are many out there that have learned this the hard way. Girls need to be taught to value themselves and to have high self-esteem. They need to know that they are unique and so special that there are only a few men that are worth getting close to and that there is only one that deserves to be intimate with them. They need to be taught how to know when a man truly loves them and will be worth their effort.
But until we have families and family values make a comeback in our society, we will have to have the need for abortions. It turns my gut to say it but it is true. If a girl does not value their body and their uniqueness, they will fall prey to having unwanted pregnancies. If a boy is taught that a woman is a trophy or a conquest they will just live their lives keeping a tally sheet. And this is where we are failing our children and eventually the children they most likely will not want.
I valued my wife when I was dating her. I did not force her or use guilt or manipulation to get her to have sex with me. I did not rush her or pressure her into it making her feel that she would lose me. I did not want her to feel that sex was the only way to keep me around (although she was wondering and worrying). I waited and made sure that she decided it was time. I waited until she truly was ready. That is valuing and respecting her body as being her personal treasure. I also did not rush into it because I valued my body and my right to be intimate. I took a long time to make sure it was what we both wanted. Sounds unorthodox, I know, but think of how the world would be different if that kind of behavior became the norm?
I surely do not have all the answers and this concept is very very very complicated. There are hundreds of thousands of abortions happening each year. No really - look it up if you want. To me, that is a marker of our society and the value of a person. If a person is valued and values others, they will not only value the unborn children but they will value the idea of having a child or not having a child. They will value caring for that child until they become adults. Until then, until we really get to the root of the problem, we will be unable to affect the end result. If we, as a society, teach kids and young adults how to value themselves more, we may be able to reduce the need for abortions. They will see the value of having children when they are ready to want them with all their hearts and time.
I bet a lot of other societal ills would go away too. . . but that is a whole other thread of thought, eh?
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