What is in a name?

In school one day, I was asked how I would have felt if she didn’t take my name when we were married. I said that it would hurt my feelings. The girl who asked me said that was a bit old school and times have changed. I guess that was an insult or something. I told them that time certainly has changed. I then said that I hope that I have been living up to it. You know, asking her to take my name.

After they expressed confusion I elaborated a bit for them. “You see, she just didn’t change her name when we were married, she changed her identity. She changed it to my identity. On that day she no longer was her maiden name. . . she is now my name. As teens, you all know how important your identity is. You all work very hard to make yours and keep it safe . . . violently some times. Well, she shed hers on our wedding day. I don’t know about you but that is a lot to live up to. Men will never understand how internally deep a commitment this is to her since they are never expected to give up their identity. But girls are expected to do just that. It is kind of the whole submission thing in our society but I take it more as an expectation that I have a job to make sure she never regrets it. I stood on the pulpit and made promises. Promises I intended to keep for the rest of our lives. I need to remember this and live out this expectation that she has taken my identity and has told the world that she is symbolically part of me. I must not fail her expectation or it will be the first step to losing her.”