The other day I told my son I was going to take a day trip up to the Ark and it would be just me and his mom. He said he wanted to go, and I told him no, that it would be just his mom and I going this time.
Well, today he brought it up again. He said he was very sad and hated that we decided to go just the two of us without him.
I said.... Son, let me give you a bit of advice and a lesson you should learn well.
Your mommy and I need to to spend more time together as you and your brother are older now. I think that couples get a little too distanced as they have kids and forget why they love each other so much while taking care of their kids. Don't get me wrong, your mom and I love you guys very very much. It is normal for parents to pour their whole lives into raising kids. But as the kids get older and more self sufficient, parents find themselves having more time to spend with each other. The problem is that they may forget what it was like to spend time with each other before they had kids.
It is just that I think sometimes parents forget what it was like to be with each other before having kids. They are pressured to believe that they are not good parents if they feel that they need to nurture their marriage by spending time alone. That would mean they would have to let someone else care for their baby or toddler or tween while they are out for a night.... God forbid we should think of such a thing! And then they lose that need to want to be with each other. Parents who pour their every waking minute into their children forgetting that they are married and need to love on their spouse is why a lot of people get divorced after the kids move on to their own lives.
I want you to remember this.. . what I am saying. I want you to remember that having kids is very special and can make your lives so much more but you can't let your kids squeeze out why you married your wife in the first place. You have to remember that your job is to raise them to be independent adults with their own lives and you must keep in touch with your wife so that you don't forget or lose the connection that brought you two together in the first place.
That is why it will only be your mom and I. I like spending time with her. Spending time with her is her love language and when I spend time with her, she is more loving and cuddly which is my love language. We feed each other's needs that way.
You see? Does that make sense?
Well, he said no. He didn't understand why we had to go alone and why we wanted to leave him behind. All I could say after that was - Look, when you leave home to live your own life, it will be just your mommy and me. I don't want to get to that point and have nothing left to love her for because we ended up at a point where we were only together to finish our job of raising our kids. That was never the reason I married her and will not be the reason. She and I are going to spend that time together and I hope you remember this day. I am trying to really give you a vital lesson and advice on how to make you life happier. You see me. You know how it can be done. I just hope you are paying attention.
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