Saturday, October 1, 2016

My love story - Part 4


Too crazy for me.

I am a twin.

Yeah I know, right? The number of times that I have heard the phrase – “There’s two of you?!” have riddled my life for decades. It is not funny just to tell you. I am me and my brother is . . . well not me. Being a twin is not really great material for being a comedian thank you very much. Being a twin is for the most part full of pros and cons. Mostly cons but I am not being objective now am I?  We are fraternal twins which helps since no one really can tell we are twins unless we let them in on it. We are night and day. This goes also with the whole girlfriend thing too. Where I was hopelessly single and Friend Zoned, my brother had a steady girlfriend in high school. Of course it was not all holiday either.

My brother had a girl friend that dominated his high school years. Boy did I learn a lot by watching this one unfold. She was a petite little girl probably not even 5 feet tall. She had hazel eyes with glasses and light brown hair that was cut to just above the shoulders. She had a slight lisp when she talked which made her voice and the way she talked always remind me of how a toddler would speak. She was pretty smart making decent grades. On all accounts she was cute. She was adorable really.

I know I am forgetting something though. Let me see. . . I am trying to put my finger on it. Oh, yeah! And she was psycho.

At first I really didn’t pay attention to the whole brother having a girlfriend thing other than he had one. I was not one to really be bothered by it other than the fact that I really could have used one. I was doing the whole ignoring so that I didn’t focus on pathetic me all girlefriendless and lonely thing. As time went on though he began to show signs that all was not going well. As it turns out, this girl was a piece of work.

First of all, she was an emotional game player and she had all of the trump cards when it came to my brother. Saying he was being controlled would have been an understatement. She was a puppeteer and he was just dangling on her strings. She would take hold of his emotions and mold as if they were clay into what she wanted, crush it flat and reshape it into something new. She put him on a rollercoaster that was soaring up and then would do a death drop into the pools of tears he shed only to whip him back and forth along sharp turns and endless track.  Getting the picture? She was a crazy woman.

The most favorite game this girl would like to play is to get mad at him and break up about a week or two before a holiday of some sort. Then after letting my brother wallow in sorrow and shame for a week, she would make amends (usually with some compensation from him) and all will be back on track just in time for the holiday. Imagine that! At first I thought it was humorous to see him all taken in like that but after a year or two, it became a bit sad. Well, pathetic. What makes girls, or guys even, do stuff like that? Is it some kind of skewed view of romance? I just have no idea where it all comes from because I have seen this kind of thing a lot.

I know one thing; there was no way that I would let any girl do that to me. I decided very quickly that if I called it quits with a girl, or she called it quits with me, that would be it. I have held to that since I have decided not that I was making the choice that much anyway. I was never going back. The whole trampoline thing was just too stupid for my liking. Since then, I am sure of this one fact. If a couple calls it quits once, I have never seen it work out if they give it another go. There was something that causes it to fail and it would fail again. I am not saying it can’t but I was not going to fall into a trap like that.

There is even more that made this girl straight up cray cray – she was on the lookout for another man when she was not around my brother. She even made passes at me. I didn’t really care for this because not many other girls seemed interested in me like that and . . . she was seeing my brother. Honest to goodness, this girl got a job where I worked and she was definitely trying to get me to notice her. She even went so far as to tell me to “give her a chance.” Cha, right! First, you treat my brother like a bouncy house in which you can bounce out and back in at your will. Then you are not being committed to your relationship. And on top of all that – you are still crazy! Seriously. Needless to say, I really was not comfortable around her. She was a whole book on what not to date. Looking back on it now, I think it is obvious that she was not really sure of what she wanted.

I don’t remember what caused my brother to stop seeing her but he finally came to his senses. As for me, I learned so much of what I would never want out of a relationship that it would impact my dating perspective for life. Really, she was psycho. It is amazing what you can learn from someone else’s problems. I didn’t even have to be in this relationship to learn a lot from it. Most of the time I was thinking that hell would freeze over before I let a girl do that to me.

In case you are wondering, my brother had wizened up after that and is now happily married with three daughters that are beautiful and bright. His wife is a great woman who is intelligent and good for him.

And she doesn’t make passes at me ***wink***

As an end note, I believe that this girl is not this way anymore. I am also positive that some who may read this will know who I am referring to (if you know me and my brother) . It would not be fair of me or those who read this to have this view of her now -  over 20 years from when this all happened. Time has a habit to turning people straight and life will inevitably teach its own hard lessons. I am sure that we all can look back at our youth and think – man I glad I grew out of that stage! Or – I sure was a different person so long ago. Everyone changes and grows into the person they are now. She was definitely not for my brother when they dated all those years ago and basically that is all I really have to say other than I learned a lot about how I didn’t want my relationships to be. This post is just to add another layer to my search and path to my wife. I feel that it was an important piece to the puzzle.




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