Family therapy II

 I am meeting up with my wife before I go to my first family therapy appointment. My tremors have started but they are pretty mild right now. I know I am worked up a little. I just don't know how I am going to get this guy to understand what it is .... Has been like for me these past few years. I just don't think he will be able to see or understand just how messed up I am. 

I know I have PTSD and I am depressed. I am on edge a lot and my mind is constantly on this issue. I have my coping skills that help like exercise and journaling and spending time with my wife. But I also worry about how long until we split up because in my mind it is inevitable. In my mind I just can't see how it won't break us up. 

And then there is the day to day stress of the worry that my son will finally hold true to his words and actually follow through with his threats to kill himself. The number of times he has told me he would do it and that I was the one who caused it..... And the pain that causes me. The stress and fear and crushing emotional turmoil that puts me through......

How am I going to convey everything thing in just one session? How do I get across to him the depth of his abuse and manipulation to me and my wife? How do I do that while also warming him about his manipulation of therapist against us with his one sided victim mentality? How do I explain to him how he uses his victim persona to get statements from his therapists that he uses as weapons against us? 

I don't think I can. I don't show or exhibit the classic signs of mental illness. I am too practical and my grit is too much. Inwardly though I am conflicted and my mind and heart are consumed with this. Have spent so much of my time and strength and energy to deal with my son and his issues that I almost have nothing else in my mind. It consumes all my mental energy and my emotional well being. 

And how do I get that across to this guy? How do I get him to understand just how bad it is for me?

I don't know but I am desperate. I am desperately trying to to get this to turn around and feel like I am not losing everything. Because I am struggling to convince myself that my marriage will not fall apart and I am trying to convince myself that he will not go through with it. And I am trying to convince myself that he will stop abusing me and manipulation of me.