FAFO comment and responses.

Me -  You know what? Lets do it. Lets stop all vaccinations. Lets go back to like 1900 and let the chips fall where they may. Lets ignore all the research and millions of doses of vaccines and all the data collected over the decades. FAFO I say. 

We will have a decade or so of people with survivor bias riding on the back of herd immunity saying, "Ha! I told you so!" Then the vaccine preventable diseases will come back slowly but gain ground in the second decade. And then we will be in full blown 1900's like times where our life expectancy will drop significantly due to the increase in these diseases . 

And what is the risk to us today? Nothing really. Most of us are vaccinated. Right? It will take at least a decade or two for this to  happen. Probably more because there will be a lot of people still vaccinating, right? So.... We have no risk today. Our grandchildren though..... Or great grandchildren. 

It will be fascinating thought to experience.

Person #1----- Kobbled Krafts lmfaooooo you're so igornant I don't even know where to begin.

Please research before showcasing how igornant you are 🤣🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Me --- to person #1------Ah yes. You must be one of those that hides in the arrogance of all the others keeping you safe. Or you hide behind the arrogance of already being vaccinated. Either way.... I think some one is projecting. 

Go ahead... Tell me how much "research" you have done. I can't wait to see all the Google degrees and 10 hour "Dr" degreed homeopaths, and chiropractors that are experts in immunology and virology and infectious diseases. I bet you will even cite Doctors that have been denied certification and licenses as being the gospel because it just feeds your bias. 

And you say I am showcasing my ignorance? 

Easy to say when there is no risk for you, huh?

Person #2-----Kobbled Krafts Let's go forward to the future where vaccines are optional. If you want one, you can get one. The research has been ignored for decades, and the data deliberately buried. The data clearly shows a dose response relationship between increasing vaccine doses and increasing endpoint chronic and fatal diseases. The fully vaccinated have a LOWER life expectancy than the completely unvaccinated. Let's go forward into the future where our grand children and great grandchildren are healthy, and are not constantly sick, and don't have chronic inflammation in their brains.  And since half of vaccines don't stop infection or transmission, the risk to us isn't nothing, just as the risk of those flu shots and covid shots weren't nothing. There is no herd immunity when a vaccine doesn't prevent infection or transmission. The vaccine preventable diseases are already back, or in some cases never left. You just don't test for them in asymptomatic carriers of disease.

Me----to person #2-----All of your claims are flat out untrue and can be verified to the contrary by many studies for each claim. I am not sure where your sources are but I can imagine they are limited in number, full of social media enhanced propagation. I am also guessing that since it definitely feeds your bias that you have no interest in proof counter claims or the non-existent proof of your claims.

The thing is, it can be difficult to actually find a source for your claims that is actually reputable, sound, backed by other people in the same field of study and has repeated results. On the other hand, it's very easy to find research and studies to the contrary. Take for instance your claim that unvaccinated people live longer ... That is demonstratively easy to counter claim. People are living longer (by like double the years) since vaccines have been used. 

Ah well, it's like I said. In order for us to truly understand how modern medicine has improved our lives .... In this case vaccines...... We will just have to keep going the way we are and wait a few decades. We are not really at any risk so it's easy to be arrogant at flat out believe the opposite of the already well known benefits of vaccination.

Person #2---- Kobbled Krafts It's called a base rate analysis. People are living longer since vaccines were introduced. Yes. HOWEVER, the unvaccinated live LONGER than the vaccinated do, regardless of when the data is collected. The hundreds of millions of data points are in agreement about the all cause mortality rates increasing with every vaccine dose above the general base rates of society. Even when the base rates change.

Everything you accused me of, you did yourself. That self-selection of social media propaganda, is what you do, not me. Cherry picking which experts to listen to, is what you do, not me. Ignoring inconvenient data which doesn't fit the myth that vaccines saved millions of lives, is what you do, not me. Science is data, not consensus, and not based on which expert is lying to you this time.

Me--- to person #2----- vaccines have saved millions of lives. I mean just take measles for example. Before the latest outbreaks in the last two or three years how many people actually died from measles say two decades before 2020? What about the number of people that have been hospitalized or had brain damage or been blind or any of the other complications of measles? And that's just measles.....

 If you're saying that vaccines have not saved lives and and help people to live longer than you're just in denial. 

Look at how many complications and hospitalizations come from the other ones. Look at pertussis or look at chicken pox or look at hepatitis or look at any of the vaccines. Hell smallpox has been eradicated from the earth because of vaccines and think about how many deaths were saved just from that! 

And that's not cherry picking or using social media.

And I truly would like to see the source you have for the claim that unvaccinated people have longer lives than vaccinated people even with the base difference. Cuz that would be interesting to see how they came to that conclusion

Person #3------ Kobbled Krafts CDC and WHO and every scientist across the world have ALL AGREED that the unvaccinated are , on a whole, healthier than the vaccinated. There's a reason that over 60% of our kids are prescribed at LEAST 1 , LIFELONG mood/ mind altering drug before they're even out of elementary school.

Me ----- to person #3------ Bull. Where is your proof of that? Your just making that up or its something pulled it out of their ass. The CDC, WHO, AND every scientist do not say unvaccinated are healthier. That is straight up lying and making shit up. 

And don't you think the reason so many kids have mood medicine is because of the decay of the nuclear family, poverty, and social media? Ah.... But then those things don't fit your narrative, now do they?

I have been hiding something

 

I think I am ready to write about this, 

I have kept this to myself for a few years, and I didn't want anyone to know. I have been hiding this like someone hides the fact they are anemic or suicidal. So here it goes. . . . 

I struggled with intrusive and invasive thoughts of self-harm. 

It started when after my son went to the hospital for suicide watch the second time. I started to have these thoughts that would creep into my mind of "I wonder".

They started with extremely brief urges when I was working out in my shop or at school. I would be using my hammer on something and then I would look at my hand and get this urge to just swing and hit it. Like I would actually seriously contemplate swinging the hammer down and hitting my own hand. Or maybe it was a moment in my classroom when I was using the scissors cuttle paper or string or whatever it was and then I envisioned what it would look like or feel like if I just put the scissors to the second knuckle of the index finger of my left hand and squeezed hard.  Or maybe I would get the urge to just touch the tip of my finger to the running blade of my table saw. It would be very brief and then the feeling would vanish as fast as it appeared and I would continue on with my project. 

But as time went on and my struggles with my son and his mental health continued and deepened in intensity, I would have these thoughts more often. And I found myself pausing longer and longer while I fought the urge to carry through with it. I remember one day I was using my table saw and I had this urge to just make a fist and push it into the blade when the saw was on. I was fighting the urge internally and rebelling in my mind with the thought of it. I remember the feeling of my mind locking up with these thoughts as if there was literally a wrestling match going on in my head. When I looked down to my hand and realized it was balled into a fist. It startled me a little. I thought - what the hell was I doing? I shut the saw off and then quit for the day.

Then I noticed that I would hurt myself more often. It was not a matter of purposely hurting myself but more of a matter of not necessarily being as cautious as I normally am. I am just normally a pretty clumsy person and I am very deliberate and careful when using my tools and building things since I hurt myself unintentionally. . . like a lot. Well, I was becoming aware that I wasn't taking as much care as I normally do. I think I was being riskier in my choices like when I was putting lumber though the saw or with my reach or things like that. This is when I would get minor cuts and abrasions and bruises when in the past, I would normally avoid those things. It was very apparent when I came in from mowing the lawn one day. I took a shower and when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, honest to God it looked like I was flogged on both my front and back. I had run under the trees and near the bushes of the yard with no concern of all to the branches and limbs that were tearing at me. I had welts and bruises. There were several welts that were so serious that they had red raspberry spots that looked as if they were ready to ooze blood. I paused and just stared at myself thinking . . . reveling . . . . at the idea that I didn't feel a thing when I was mowing. Because . . . . those had to hurt when they happened. How odd. 

That was when I knew I had a real issue. I took time to really search my feelings and looked for what was driving these thoughts and intrusions. The only thing I could think of is that I was hurting and struggling inside my chest and mind so much that I was wondering how much pain and suffering it would take to match the pain and suffering I felt inside. Or I was rolling this issue with my son with such focus that I didn't pay any head to anything that was going on around me. I didn't experience physical pain with the stress and anxiety, but the signs were there. My tremors and my heart and the rigidity of my body. I had lost that feeling of joy that I held so dear, and I didn't feel like laughing or smiling or even talking sometimes. And that was when I think I was becoming really aware that I was truly suffering . . .  and suffering in silence.

Looking back, I think my wife could tell. She would say something every once in a while. She had no idea how bad it was, but she could tell. I was actively keeping this from her. I was more myself when I was physically with her and I really would hover around her just for that support I was seeking. It bothered me to be like that, and I wrestled with it for a long time. I spent less time in my shop and doing projects. I would stay in the house and close to my wife. I didn’t want to tempt a chance of actually having a weak moment. I know I should have sought help, but I was already paying so much money and expending so much effort and energy for my son that I decided to go it alone so that I could focus more of my resources on him.

So here we are after years of these struggles with my son and I am doing better. He is now working full time and seems to be making progress. I don't have a constant 24/7 fear for his well being. He is treating me better and I am feeling better about the whole thing. I have not had these intrusive thoughts in several months. Not one. I have been working in my shop again and my focus is back and my drive to create has renewed in me. 

And that is why I feel it is time to come clean. I know I should not have kept this to myself and that I really needed to seek help because I could have easily had a moment of weakness that probably would have been a life altering catastrophic event. I just didn't want to spend the money on me and worry my wife more than she was already so caught up with everything I was caught up with. Stupid reasons, I know, and I look back and also know that I was taking a real risk with those episodes. 

I will say though that I don't feel that way anymore, and I have not had those intrusive thoughts for a long time. Man, it is so crazy to think that I had the real threat of my mind and emotions taking control of my actions like that. It is such a scary thought to me while I am actually putting this down on paper. I read through this journal writing and I still can't see myself as "one of those" but I can't deny that it was happening. 

Trauma sure can mess a person up, huh?