FAFO period of our history.

 After paying attention to the news in the last year or two I have come to the conclusion that we are in the FAFO period of our society.

No kidding. I truly think that we have raised a generation or two of people that have been constantly told that whatever their ideas and feelings were, even if they were wrong, that they were completely valid and that they were okay with feeling that way and that they were always right. Not only that, everybody else was told that we should be feeling the same way! And Lord help us if we had a different opinion...... We were racist or intolerant or we got "canceled". 

Then you throw into the mix social media and this new influencer trend, and bingo, you got a bunch of young people that feel like they know everything without actually knowing anything. I mean, it's okay to question what you know is true but then there's also a point where taking one source or unsubstantiated sources and then building your whole identity and belief construct around it that kind of seems self-destructive. Don't you think?

The best example of this is vaccines and the medical field. Honest to goodness! People feel that vaccines are killing more people than they are saving. And I have no idea how they have been conned into believing that. I mean look at the rates of measles....... and People are starting to deny vitamin k shots to babies. That means we're going to have more babies dying from brain bleeds. We're going to have people that are going to be disabled or have lifelong complications due to measles. And it won't take long but polio is right behind it..... probably. All kinds of cancers from HPV popping up again and chicken pox will take hold again and a whole lot of other issues that we haven't seen in decades and decades because people are deciding not to vaccinate their kids anymore. And then we will see a lot of people suffering. 

So, you want to go against decades worth of research and scientific conclusions? You want to believe that getting measles is much less riskier than getting the vaccinations? Okay. You want to argue that sea salt is some kind of miracle supplement compared to table salt when they really have no difference hardly at all? Okay. You truly think that eating an all meat diet is going to make you the healthiest person ever? Okay. You think turning the food pyramid on it's top will cause people to eat better and make our society more healthy? Okay. You honestly think that raw milk is some type of God's perfect food? Okay. You truly think that these congressmen and congresswomen and the president is making your life better? Okay. Still waiting for those food prices and gas prices and medicines and prices on necessary goods to drop because " they " say they will? Okay. You think those chiropractors and functional health, or whatever those fake degrees are called, are really experts in their "field" when they haven't hardly spent any years studying or practicing in the field they are commenting on? Okay.

Okay..... Go ahead and follow them. Do exactly what they say. 

In the end.....you can FAFO.

But I won't. 

Man, the outside world must be shaking their head and laughing at us...... American arrogance. There's nothing like it.

Family therapy VI

 It has been a while. There have been several family therapies since that last time I checked in. A lot has happened since the last time I made an entry here but I have made a couple written journal entries. 

Since the last time, my son has wrecked his car. It was a pretty tense time. He was rear ended while he was going to his grandpa's. We told him to stay home and save his gas, but he didn't listen to us. When he stopped for a construction vehicle, the person behind him just rammed him from behind. So, my wife and I struggled with the whole  .... if he would have just listened to us. . .  and it was not his fault - the guy didn't even hit his brakes. You know. We just wish we didn't have to go through all this. In the end, we were in a mess since we didn't have the money to replace his car. 

But, the good Lord was looking down on us. the insurance of the other guy paid out enough to get another car. then we were trying to find a decent car for what we got paid out for. That is crazy in today's age. A decent car is not less than 3000 dollars and it has like a 100,000 miles on it! It was crazy to be junk car shopping. I hated it. But we found one. It ended up needed a bit of work on it and some new parts but I think maybe it will be workable. 

What really came of all this was the therapy after the month or two of interlude. 

The therapist want to have a reset and see how we were doing and requested that we see him separately before we started again.  When he met with me, it came out that I was still holding onto a lot of trauma and memories that needed to be dealt with. He told me that my descriptions and emotion when reliving those episodes were too intense for them being so long ago. He also told me that I needed to keep my distance from my son so that I didn't have triggers that sent me back to those memories. 

So, was a point that I started to pull back a little. it was hard and I knew that I needed space and distance but it is never that easy with him. He needed his car worked on and he hit a brick mailbox that I had to deal with and he had this job that was not a good one and the court was pressuring him. The tension was getting higher. 

It was at this time that my wife and I were talking about when to cut him off from our financial support. I didn't realize how much we were paying for him, but it is substantial.  It's enough to really cause me issues. So, we set in palace a plana and a hard line for the day. It would be the first of the year . . . . about 8 months from now.

Then I went up to Ma and Dad's for a few days. Just myself since everyone else had school. When I was up there, my son called and said he had a new job at Goodwill. 

And I broke down. 

It was like the Good Lord stepped in again and let this happen to calm my spirit a little. I didn't know how much shame and guilt I had for planning to cut off my son but it was weighing on me a bit. When he told me he had the job and all the things that Goodwill would do for him - insurance, housing assistance, benefits, and all - it was like all the tension of throwing him out to the wolves with nothing to work towards just melted away. 

And here we are. He seems to be doing great at his job and everyone is praising him and encouraging him. He likes his job and he talks about it a lot. It has been a week and he seems happy. For him, that is extraordinary. It is a good sign. 

Me? I have had one session of therapy where I relived a bad memory with my son and I really don't like it. I think that is what we are going to be doing is having me relive these memories I have while I am guided by the therapist. Will it help me? I am not sure but I am going to give it a try. 

One thing I know for sure is that I have been feeling better - mentally and Physically- that I have for a long time. I am feeling more like myself that I have in a long time. 

And that is something, eh?