I have seen a lot on my friends list getting pregnant or being
pregnant and I thought I would just give you something to chew on for a
moment.
You don't have to share everything all the time.
I am an advocate of just being in the moment with your significant other and
just reveling in the experience of being a mommy and daddy with them without
all the crap that family and friends can or could bring with it.
When my wife and I were expecting, we put out the news and told our friends
and family. We didn't go all crazy though. We took pictures and we talked about
being parents, but we didn't put it out constantly. I didn't want to. I wanted
to be selfish and only share the experience with my wife and my parents. To me,
it was one of those times that was a new kind of intimacy with my wife, and I
was jealously savoring each moment. I really didn't want to share it with
anyone imposing their thoughts or views into it. I didn't want people telling
me how I should do this or do that or impose expectations on us.
For example, we didn't find out the sex of our first child and that turned
out to be so scandalous! But why not? It is our first baby and our first time
being parents. I wanted that part of our experience to be ours and ours alone
in the moment when the experience will be like nothing I could ever imagine. To
this day I am thankful my wife agreed (against her own urges) to let me have
that joy.
We had visitors about a day after the birth. Honestly, since our boy was a
month early, that just ended up being the way it was anyway. Looking back, I didn’t
realize how much of a blessing that was. I made sure when family were able to
get across the state that visits were only for a very short time because I
wanted to just enjoy being a new dad and get the hang of my new boy and just be
in the moment with him as I fed him and cared for my recovering wife (who had a
hard birthing experience). I was so exhausted but eager to have every minute
with my new boy and I didn't want anyone else crowding me with it.
We took lots of pictures, but we didn't throw them around and pass them out.
We wanted memories but . . . "likes" ..... not so much. It was
my little family that my wife and I was building. I didn't want others to push
their idea of family into the one that we were building.
And, so what? Why was it so important to everyone that we didn't do that?
They had their family and they had their time. Why impose on our time to be a
family? I didn't have any shame with it back then or even today. I covet my
time with my wife and family. I post some things here and there but mostly, I
just enjoy my time with them.
So, if you are feeling like me and feel like you are getting smothered but
those who are unintentionally (or maybe even intentionally) making you feel
like you are missing it, do not let them make you feel "less than" if
you want to pull back a little and just immerse yourself in being a new parent.
It will be fine and they will be fine and all will be fine.
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