Abortion - Advocating for fathers

I wondered how pro-choice women would respond to a statement advocating for father rights. And I bet you can guess how that went!

Have you seen the meme going around that has like fifty lines that repeat the phrase, "Men shouldn't be making laws about women's bodies?" If you haven't then you should look for them and then just take a gander at the comments. Very interesting and informative. 

So, I made this comment: I am just putting it out there that a man does have a right if it has to do with his own baby. The courts favor mothers over fathers and that is not right. 

And here are some of the responses I got for this statement:

 Not if he isn't the one carrying the child.

 No, he does not - not legally, ethically, morally or under the breadth of humanitarianism. He does not have the right to force childbirth. You do not have the right to force me to endure childbirth. There is your answer. 

Than said man should have the discussion with the woman ahead of time about whether she wants children or not. 

First, it is unreasonable to throw in a man's face that they are unable to have children from their own bodies. We are fully aware that we do not have a uterus or ovaries. Seriously. To tell me that I have no right to decide if MY baby lives or dies depends on whether or not I have a uterus or not is insensitive and ignorant. Have you talked to a woman that has one miscarriage after another? Have you talked to a woman that is sterile or has had to have a hysterectomy? Have you talked to a woman that has had a still born? These are poor and inadequate examples but hey, how can a woman even come close to understanding what it would be like for a man to never ever be able to have a child without a woman when they themselves will never be in that kind of denial? 

And I still can't even fathom what it would be like for those women because I am a man and have no frame of reference. How can I even come close to understanding? I cannot. I am a man, not a woman. All I know is that it is arrogant, patronizing, condescending, and ignorant to tell a man that he has no right to decide if his OWN child lives or dies because he is not the one pregnant and the mother can abort HIS child against his wishes. No discussion. No compromise. No empathy or compassion. And it is completely legal. How degrading and minimizing to a man is that? Can you imagine what that would do to us and our mental health? No. No you can’t. Because you will never be the one that can't carry the baby. The mother will always be able to choose to birth her child. She will never be forced to abort her baby if she wants it. Never. I am positive that any man who desperately wants to be a father would gladly carry a baby but God and nature dealt us a different set of cards.

Secondly, I know it is wrong to force a person to do something to their body medically that they elect not to. It is illegal and unethical. In this case though....... In this case . . . it is still wrong. On the other hand, the sole choice should not fall to the mother if the father wants the baby. His baby..... Their baby. The father should have some say and input. Having a baby is a unique situation where a man will never be able to have the baby themselves. They are completely helpless in all ways to the health of their own child and dependent on the mother to carry their baby to a healthy birth. Morally and ethically it is wrong for someone to force a woman to go all the way to childbirth. But so too is it morally and ethically wrong to abort a man's baby if he wants to keep them without so much as a sit-down and talk. He will have to live with the fact that the woman he loved enough to have sex with has just chosen to abort his...... their ...... baby. Psychologically this can affect a man’s mental health for the rest of his life.

It doesn’t matter though. This is a woman against man argument. As I was making my case, all women heard when I made that comment was that I just wanted to control women and exert toxic male dominance over them because I was some kind misogynist. Even though I kept reinforcing that I was talking about only the FATHER'S baby and the right for the father to keep their OWN baby and that it was the only way a man would be able to be a father. All of that was ignored in favor of some hyper-focused belief that I just wanted to control women. Because, hey, a man wanting to keep his own baby is about controlling a woman..... Right? Not one woman acknowledged that I actually agreed with them that a man has no right to decide what to do with a baby that was not theirs. Not once was I acknowledged that I strongly was against making abortions illegal. Not once was I acknowledged that I was only focused on a father of their own child. Isn't that interesting?

Of course, then I am told that if a man wants to be a father then they should be more careful and talk with the girl about children before they have sex. You know, I am all for that. Hell, I will scream it from rooftops! But how many mothers right now are single parents because they believed the man they got pregnant by would have stayed to actually be the father of their child? Well, I am talking about the opposite of this. The difference is that if father skips out and the mother still wants to be a mother, what's to stop her? Nothing. But, if the mother does not want to be a mother when the man wants to be a father, she can have an abortion because what's to stop her? Nothing. You see? The mother can be a mother to the baby against the father's will and the father can ONLY be a father to the baby if the mother will let him. That's it. Way to stick it to the man for all their male privilege! Take away his right to be a father! 

Why am I even making this point anyway? If a man wants to keep his baby he will always be shouted down as a woman hater and misogynist or just hating for women to have a choice or taking away body autonomy or.... Or ...... Or..... 

But, in reality I am not pro-life. But, I am not pro-choice either. 

I am pro parent. I think it is wrong morally and ethically to deny a person to be a parent if they desire to. If you are a woman.... Congrats. No one can make you have an abortion. If you are a man though...... Congrats..... The life of your child is in the hands of the woman carrying your child. I hope you choose wisely. AND THANK GOD! Most men who want to be fathers DO choose wisely. I think they do because they understand on a guttural level what I am saying.  But..... There is always that chance......

You really want to know what I think?

Most of all I am pro-proactive. I am pro-safe sex. You see, if we are proactive with safe sex on the front end, there will be no need for needless abortions. (Did you catch the wording there?) It is not a secret how to keep babies from being conceived. You just have to keep the sperm from getting to the egg or keep the egg from implanting in the uterus. You know what is cool about that? You don't even have to stop having sex to be able to accomplish it and the cost is relatively cheap! So, there is that. 

Anyway.... I wonder how many pro-choice man haters have gotten all the way to the end here and still think I want all women to have their babies no matter what. Maybe I should make a meme that says..... Read that again........

I hate those memes.