I hate that I'm being forced to do this. I hate that I have to make choices based on what's best for my entire family because of one family members choices that is really threatening the security of the rest of us. Here's the message I sent to our family counselor about what my son has done......
I am really torn up right now. I want to reassert that the biggest issue with my son and my wife and I is what we want compared to what he wants. No amount of communication will fix that. And everything is fine until we set a boundary and say no.
Right now I have decided that I am going to drop him from my medical insurance. He had an episode the day before yesterday and checked himself into the Vanderbilt mental health hospital. This is getting to be a problem because it's been less than a month since he did it last time. And just about every time he checks himself into a hospital they send me like a $1,000 bill. This often is not sustainable at all with our income.
And I just cannot sustain that at the rate he falls apart all the time. I have been paying on one bill for over a year and he accrued another 800$ bill less than a month ago and now I have no idea what I will be charged for this but he was taken to the emergency room since they didn't have staff to deal with him.
One of the issues he works on me with is the guilt of not wanting to pay for all this stuff as if I'm a horrible father for not doing that. But it's too much..... I'm going to end up having to file for bankruptcy for a second time in my life if it keeps on like this that is not good for my family and household.
Dropping him for my insurance will be nothing short of catastrophic for him..... He will not be able to afford meds, councillors, or any other medical issue. On the other hand I can't let it go on for him to keep going to the hospital and draining my finances because he can't manage his emotions or mental health. It's been over four years of therapy and meds and he is running my finances dry. And that scares me a lot with another boy half way through college and my wife with her chronic health issues. I feel like I am a passenger in my own car with him driving and running into anything and everything while I sit with no control over his driving at all. Well, one thing I can do is take away the keys.
One thing that will be absolutely sure, Austen will come unhinged when I do it. But I just can't let him have that control over my money like that. Its getting to be reckless, it threatens the security of the rest of my family, and I have to put a stop to it.
I just don't know what else to do or if I can really do anything else..... I'm being forced to or having the make choices of more struggle for my family. I just can't do that so I sent a message to the court person about him too.....
Just dropping a line. My wife told me about my son checking himself into the hospital last night.
I am going to have to take him off our insurance. The bills will come to me as the insurance holder and I will be responsible if I don't pay them even though he is the one that got them. There is 800$ from his last visits and who knows how much for this time and he will just keep going at his whims. I hate it but to keep me from being financially strangled and going bankrupt.... I can't think of what else to do.
I would like to start the process of applying for TNcare. Can you help us with this?
God...... Will this get easier ever?