It's interesting to see the responses to this tic toc vid on Facebook. And then I step in with a bit of real life to see what happens....
This is what I wrote:
As a guy.... Yeah it matters. I am too big for my wife and it matters. I haven't seen a lot of comments here since there are literally thousands of them and mine will probably just be buried amongst them all. But I assure you...being too big has affected our intimacy. My wife and I. When we first met it was just a matter of getting her to relax and stretched and taking our time. After the damage and ripping from our first boy though..... The scarring from all the stitches would not soften and I ended up tearing and hurting her every ......single......time. The pain and bleeding would last several days. It was like I was abusing her or even worse..... It would look like I forcibly raped her. Its been pretty difficult. She endured the pain until our second child which didn't go any better. Now we don't have vaginal sex at all (its been 16 years) because she can't stand the pain and I can't stand the thought of doing that to her every time. So yeah..... Size matters.
A response from a guy:
I mean, I sort of feel like you two weren’t compatible then… no disrespect intended
My reply to him:
Well, that would be the question to the universe, eh? With the way we struggle with the births of our children and then the struggle with sex afterward.... Well that would seem that fate has it against us, you think? Like we just weren't meant to be. But if you take away just that one part..... Just vaginal sex..... Nothing else about intimacy but that one .... My wife and I are so in love and bonded it makes you wonder if that one aspect is really worth calling it quits. For us..... That answer is no. It's not. But that is the path we took when we got married isn't it? "For better or for worse." Our bedroom life is missing one component..... Just one.... That, honestly, would break marriages. And it was a result of our choice to be parents. Was that price too steep to cause our emotional and mental and spiritual marriage to go bankrupt? For some, the answer to that is..... yes. But my wife and I are so bonded that even though we struggle with it as a couple, we love living life together more.
If that runs your world.... And it is your priority, I can fully understand because it's not like it is not a big stress in our marriage.... I get it. That's why I take no offense.... It is pretty damn difficult some days.
I am just not going to give up and let go of so much I love about my wife for one absent physical act that I admit is pretty important but not enough for me to call it quits.