I saw this short video from like a tic too of a woman that was talking about whether it not it was worth it to get married. She has been married for 7 years now and she said her husband was a good husband. You know..... Not abusive but good and supportive and provides.
She was saying things like you lose yourself and your sense of individuality, and that you lose your sense of peace, and having to deal with another person every single day for the rest of your life. She even says that she doesn't know why she feels that way because she has a good man.
Well, I know why she feels that way. It's because our society is not teaching, showing, and understanding what it means to be a married person where you bond with your spouse and become one flesh like it is taught in the Bible. That is the problem. And I might be a little judgmental or gender profiling, but I feel that women are being taught the opposite and men just have an intuitive understanding of what it means.
Well, here is my comment to this post......
I don't know.... I have never questioned why I am married. Maybe it is because I knew what a decades long marriage was and knew that I wanted it. And I am in one. And I will die with her by my side or her with me by her side. Do I think she wants to bail? After 25years? No. Not even a little. To say that you lose your individuality..... Yeah, in a sense that is true. But in another sense, it is not true. We all have our hats (personalities) that we wear.... At times I am a married man and at times I am a father and at times I am myself. All of those are true and I shift constantly from one to another. It's because I am an individual who knows exactly who he is in all those roles.....when I am in my married man energy, it does not mean I have lost my identity or individuality, it means that my identity is like a gem and multifaceted.... And being a husband is a big part of that. I am ok with that, and I expected and wanted it to be that way.
I guess what I am saying is that if you feel like you don't have your own identity and individuality as a married person, maybe you didn't know what being married really was in the first place.
I have discussed this idea before. Did I lose my identity by getting married? .... No. I wanted to incorporate being a spouse into my identity. Being married is part of who I wanted to be and who I am today. I will go back to the Bible..... Whether you believe all the stuff in the Bible or not, setting aside the whole one God and accepting Jesus thing, the Bible really does have some truths and hard lessons in it. The whole "one flesh" idea is truly what sets a successful marriage apart from a marriage that will fall to pieces.
After more than 25 years of being with my wife, I now understand the whole Trinity thing with God. I see that in my wife and I. She has her identity, and I have mine but then there is this third that is us together. Our marriage is its own ..... Being?....... Identity.?..... Soul? ...... Call it what you will. What I do know is that my wife and I and our marriage are separate and together and all exist at the same time.
Hard to understand? Sure it is. Just like trying to understand the Trinity, right? But I understand the Trinity a lot more after being married for decades than I ever did before I was married. It all makes sense to me now that I am experiencing it firsthand.
It takes time though. It takes time to soul search in order to really know if you're truly a marriage type person. It takes time to envision what your marriage will be and who you will be as a spouse. It takes time to decide what will create a happy and fulfilling marriage for you. It takes time to truly set your mind. spirit, and soul to becoming a new person and to be content and fulfilled with the idea that you will be one with another person and also exist as a separate person at the same time. It takes time to find the person who will be the person that will be the one that will share that vision.
And that.......That is why we have so much discontent in our relationships today. That is why there are so many on social media spouting all this advice and revelations that really mean nothing. It is because more and more people don't get the meaning and the truth of what marraige truly is to begin with and there are very very few examples to show them.
Do some soul searching. Decide if you are the "three in one" type before you decide to marry someone. That is probably the best advice I have for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment