Of all the pictures I took at the last wedding my wife and I worked on, this one was the one that hit me the most. While all the groomsmen were having a good time talking and living it up before the wedding started, the Groom slid unnoticed off to the side and started pacing for a short. He was lost in his own thoughts. It was for only a minute maybe but you can see that it was intense and personal.
I remember my wedding day and I did the same thing. I
remember how much weight I was feeling and how big the world was that was going
to be on my shoulders in just a few hours. You see, it was not a questioning of
whether or not I was doing the right thing or if this girl was actually "the
one." That, I was positively sure of. It was more about my reservations about being the man I believed she deserved.
It was all finally hitting home for me at that moment. When
she said "yes," that was a huge step in trust given to me by her. She
said yes to my faithfulness. To expecting me to completely and wholly give to
her my life with no glances or second thoughts or losing my love for her. She said yes to trusting that I would take care of her when she had good days and bad days and days when she would hate me and days she would not be able to keep her hands off me. She said
yes to me giving my life to share her fun and happiness and successes and failures
and fears and sickness and health without calling it quits. She said yes to me
promising that I would never break her heart and never making her question whether
or not she truly deserves to be loved in the first place.
I am a Christian and I truly take to heart the role of a
Husband as it is described in the Bible. I was thinking about whether or not I was
able to fulfill that role or not. Was I ready to lead my family? Was I ready to be
the "final say" to all decisions that would affect our lives? Was I
ready to truly listen and take council from her to make those wise choices for the both of us?
Was I ready to own up to failing and making mistakes which were/will be
inevitable? Was I ready to be the one she looked to, the one she depended on, to make everything alright?
All in a picture. All this was captured in a moment when no one
was looking or paying any attention. But I was. I saw him and I remembered what
that moment was like. I look back and see my moment as clear as this picture I took and think, man was I glad I
pushed forward with faith and that we both were confident that we would be all
those things and more.
And with God's grace, we have been.
